I need to be someone important. I need to do great things with the short time I'm here. I need to be remembered. Yet I feel so helpless and without the knowledge to accomplish my goals. I try to help myself, I claw my way from childhood poverty, I obtain an advanced professional degree, but all I get is resistance from a world that will always put themselves and theirs first, who can blame them. I'm unemployed, with no connections or capital to get my big ideas off the ground, and no idea how to properly organize or present my ideas to those that can help me accomplish them. I think more school could help, but why should I believe that, it has only helped me to be burdened with six figures of debt and nothing to show for it except 30 years of future student loan debt. It makes me want to run away to an island and live without worries, but then I wouldn't be the important person I want to be, I wouldn't leave the world a better place then when I found it. I just need to be happy, but it's so hard with all the injustice in this world, with all my plans never becoming realized.

More focused and productive

What I need to be is there for my children, available at all times. I'm not always there for them and it hurts me sometimes that I'm not. I try my best to juggle work, family, and a moments peace for myself. Sometimes I feel selfish for doing so. But it's the only way that I stay sane...